so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
