Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize