Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM VODKA MAN
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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