How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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