I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize