She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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