somebody snuck up and got me drunk
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
