You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
