Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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