smell my finger.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Randomize
