If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
And then my night got REAL pukey
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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