At least make sure they are 18
Why
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize