Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
