I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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