Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize