It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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