I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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