It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
