How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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