WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
