her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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