How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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