YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Can i not drive my cunt home
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Randomize
