everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
