Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize