can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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