You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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