He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
If I die, sorry about rent.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
