I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
