I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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