I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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