haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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