It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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