I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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