I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
