I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
