two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
