So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Panties = found
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
