Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
