he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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