Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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