Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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