dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
