dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize