I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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