just come out here and I will go home with you...
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
