that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
