she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
