Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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