ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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