I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
