please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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