I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
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