mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He better not be in your backpack
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
