I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
