Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Sacagawea was the original milf.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
