I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
