So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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