Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
