they need to just BURY HIM!
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
