New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
