**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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