dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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