oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
