If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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