Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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